Falling For The Mom-To-Be (Maple Springs #1) Page 18

  “If this is real, then it will last.” That was the mantra she went with, but it didn’t stave off the worry that Ginger made a good point. “We simply have to wait it out.”

  Ginger shook her head. “Wait what out? The gossip? That’s old news and who cares.”

  “I do.” Annie grabbed a couple of wicker baskets that she kept in the laundry room.

  “That sounds like pride talking.”

  “I’m not talking about this anymore.” Annie glared at her friend. “Do you want to help me in the garden or not? Whatever you pick is yours.”

  “Absolutely.” Ginger smiled without apology and then followed her off the deck and into the backyard.

  In the garden, Annie had always found peace. Focused on the simple act of weeding, snipping back herbs or picking vegetables, she’d calm her thoughts. Today was no exception. Tomatoes were plump and red, the dill fragrant and her eggplant showed real promise in size.

  “Hey, what’s this?” Ginger pulled out a watch from the dirt and handed it over.

  Touching the brown leather band, Annie felt her stomach drop. She struggled for composure.

  “Oh, Annie, I’m sorry. Is it Jack’s?”

  Eyes burning and throat tight, she shook her head. “No. It’s Matthew’s.”

  Ginger’s expression softened. “Love doesn’t keep time. It’s obvious you’re in love with the man. Why torture yourselves because of preconceived notions of what’s proper and expected?”

  “I’m trying to do the right thing, especially for my son.”

  “So you wait a year or more and then what? Your son will grow up calling Matthew daddy, anyway. He’ll have the Marshall name, so what difference does it make?”

  Annie chewed her bottom lip. Ginger couldn’t be right. Life wasn’t that simple.

  “Listen to your heart, Annie. That’s where God speaks.”

  But her heart had been sewn up tight with red thread and red letters she didn’t want seen.

  She felt her cell phone vibrate inside the pocket of her sweats. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Annie, it’s Helen.”

  She glanced at Ginger. “What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that Matthew’s going to be out on the lakes another month or two.”

  Her pulse skidded to a stop. She wouldn’t be seeing him anytime soon. “Oh, okay.”

  A glimmer of hope flickered like a candle in a dark room. “Umm, did he ask you to call me?”

  “No, honey, he didn’t, but I thought you should know.”

  The glimmer flickered out and died. Matthew gave her exactly what she’d asked for—a clean break with no contact. He’d extended it, too. Maybe he had changed his mind about her, given time to think. Her wise decision felt more like payback.

  “Thanks, Helen.” Annie stuffed the phone back in her pocket.

  “What’s wrong?” Ginger stepped forward.

  “That was Matthew’s mom. He’s working another rotation, probably another two months.”

  Ginger touched her arm. “Call him.”

  “No.” Hearing his voice would only make things harder.

  Most likely, Matthew didn’t have a choice in remaining on ship. This summer’s shipping season had been busier than normal. Even Jack’s father had said so on one of her recent visits to drop off tomatoes.

  No, she wouldn’t call when her feelings were in turmoil. Maybe this was God’s way of shutting that door and answering her prayers. Annie had to see this thing through and put Matthew out of her mind. Out of her heart.

  And silently, she counted so she wouldn’t cry.

  But a small voice deep inside prayed that Matthew hadn’t changed his mind.

  Chapter Fifteen

  October

  Annie finally had it together. She missed Matthew, but every time she thought of him, she’d say a prayer. Positive doctor appointments and a baby shower at her church waved a big flag that the next few weeks would fly by. Her due date was less than three weeks away. This time the following month, she’d finally be a mom.

  She stepped into the nursery and ran her fingers over the white rocking chair given to her from the Zelinsky family. Boy baby clothes, toys and a diaper pail were all in place.

  Waiting.

  All she did lately was wait.

  Annie stared at the large model of a tall ship, the focal point of the room. “I think I’ve got this, Jack. I can do it.”

  You don’t have to do it alone, Annie.

  She sighed. She hadn’t gone to the cemetery much lately. But she still talked to Jack. It comforted her, but then imagining how he might answer probably pushed it a little. “Your mom promised to help.”

  Not what I mean.

  She didn’t pretend that answer. It had come from out of nowhere. Wishful thinking maybe, but that whisper of her imagination felt different. Real even.

  Listen to your heart. That’s where God speaks.

  She laughed out loud. Right. Maybe the closer she got to delivery, the more loopy she became. Hearing Jack’s voice in her head and then pinning it on God.

  Glancing at the clock, she carefully descended the stairs for yet another doctor’s appointment. As she stepped out of the house, a cold wind tugged at her hair and plastered the warm knit material of her dress against her leggings. The temperature had dropped since this morning. She pulled her heavy cardigan sweater close and readjusted the woven scarf she’d wrapped around her neck.

  Crunchy leaves swirled in the driveway while naked maple trees bent precariously low with another gust of wind. Even her neighbor’s pumpkins seemed to shiver.

  Sliding carefully behind the wheel, Annie started her car and pulled out. Not until she drove well out of Maple Springs did her heat kick in, but she felt the push of the wind against her small Honda with each mile.

  The gales of November had come early. Where was the William Lee Block? Were they safe? Her doctor’s office was near where Jack’s parents lived. Maybe she’d stop in after her appointment and check with John.

  The local highway followed the curve of the bay. Looking out over the water, she could see white caps and large swells. If conditions were this rough in a relatively protected bay, then how bad was it out in open water?

  And then she saw the outline of a freighter on the horizon, and her heart skipped a few beats. It wasn’t unheard of for ships to seek safe harbor in Maple Bay. It might be small, but it wasn’t far from the shipping channel leading north through the Straits of Mackinac. Still, conditions must be bad to bring a massive bulk carrier in this far.

  Annie grabbed her phone and hit the button for Marie’s number.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Marie. I’m heading to my doctor’s appointment, but can I stop by afterward?”

  “Annie, is anything wrong?”

  She swallowed hard. “Is John listening to his scanner?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’d like to listen in, too.” She wanted to know where Matthew’s freighter might be on a day like this.

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks, Marie.” Annie disconnected.

  Breathe, just breathe.

  She’d been through this before. Gale-force winds were not uncommon on the lakes. Jack had ridden through some tough days and nights, but Annie hadn’t always known about them. Maple Springs was nestled in a sheltered portion of the bay with its own tiny harbor. Despite the wind, calm waters remained there.

  Early in their marriage, Annie had promised Jack that she wouldn’t track his freighter. He’d asked her not to be one of those wives who’d call the company frequently, and she’d promised not to call unless absolutely necessary. Jack had always emailed her and then phoned when he put into port. She’d been good about keeping worry at bay.

&nbs
p; But she’d asked Matthew not to contact her...

  The parking lot of her doctor’s office had a decent view of the bay and how it opened up into Lake Michigan. Nothing but gray skies, dark water and whitecaps. And that freighter.

  “Dear Lord, please keep Matthew and his crew safe.”

  She repeated that prayer while waiting through her appointment. After receiving a good report and kudos on proper weight gain, Annie left the building, her thoughts on the weather. Dark clouds clustered along the western horizon of Lake Michigan. The freighter had anchored in Maple Bay and the silhouette of yet another laker loomed on the horizon.

  When she pulled into the Marshalls’ driveway, Marie opened the front door looking worried. “John’s listening to the radio and it’s not good.”

  Annie rushed into the kitchen where Jack’s father sat hunched near the scanner. He had his laptop open on a site with an interactive map showing where on the Great Lakes named freighters and other ships were located.

  She slipped into a chair next to him. “How current are those?”

  “Says here it updates every fifteen minutes.” John pointed at the screen.

  “Where’s the Block?” Matthew’s bulk carrier.

  “Last reported here, north of Green Bay Light.” John clicked on a freighter marker shown and a pop-up of the William Lee Block came into view. In the picture, the freighter looked clean and sleek with its shiny black sides and gleaming white pilot house. Their destination was Rogers City, only a couple hours’ drive away from Maple Springs.

  When would they make it safely to port?

  Gale-force wind warnings sounded from the scanner.

  Annie shivered. “Why’d they leave Green Bay under these conditions?”

  John didn’t answer. What could he say? Deliveries had to be made.

  “Have you heard from Matthew?” Marie asked.

  “I asked him not to call me when he left in June.” Annie chewed her bottom lip. Stupid.

  Marie patted her back. “He’ll be all right.”

  Not without Jack. Annie didn’t know a thing about the temporary captain who’d hired on for this season. Matthew had mentioned that the guy was getting close to retirement age. Would he make the right calls? Or was he about getting one last fat bonus for keeping time in cargo delivered?

  She spotted Jack’s Bible, the one she’d given to his parents, lying open on the kitchen table. Her fingers itched to touch it. “May I?”

  John flipped to a marked section and then pushed the leather-bound Word toward her. “Maybe you should see this.”

  Marie still looked worried. “John—”

  “Let her be, Marie.”

  Annie had never heard Jack’s father sound so stern. She glanced at Marie, but her mother-in-law had retreated to the sink with her back turned.

  “See what?” Annie smoothed the pages that had been marked with sticky note tabs.

  “I’ve been reading through Jack’s scribbling throughout each book. Did you know he’d written so many notes in here?”

  Annie nodded. It’s why she’d given it to them. Jack hadn’t merely read the Bible, he’d studied it.

  John pointed. “Read that. Read it aloud.”

  She pulled the Bible closer and peered at the book of Deuteronomy, chapter twenty-five. “‘When men have a dispute...’”

  “Down some. Start at verse five.”

  “‘If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her...’” Annie’s voice trailed off when she spotted Matthew’s name in the margin.

  You don’t have to do this alone.

  Her breath caught and she looked at John. “Did you write that?”

  “No, Annie. That notation didn’t come from me.”

  She ran her fingers over the penciled letters followed by a question mark. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself to stop shaking. “You could have erased it.”

  John glanced at Marie’s back, giving it away that his wife had probably suggested that very thing. “Jack once told me he loved Matthew like the brother he never had. Pretty clear to me that he wanted Matthew to take care of you if anything happened to him. Don’t you think?”

  Another tremor ripped through her. When had Jack penciled that in? Surely he hadn’t known anything was wrong with his heart. He would have told her, wouldn’t he?

  Had Jack ever suspected Matthew’s feelings for her?

  Annie knew her husband, and Jack had been secure in their relationship. He’d known she’d loved him completely. She’d always love him, but Jack would want her free to love another.

  But not just anyone.

  Annie kept reading, silently. “The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.”

  It was Jack’s voice she heard reading the passage. The only man Jack would ever trust raising their son was Matthew. That truth resonated deep in her heart. The heart she feared giving away because of the tattles from a few.

  Annie had thought it noble and right to protect her reputation. Her image and her livelihood. But as Ginger had said, that was pride talking. Pure pride.

  Her vision blurred and a tear drop fell on the open pages. She closed her eyes and felt her father-in-law’s hand cover hers.

  Then Marie sat down and pulled her into an awkward hug. “Call him, Annie. It’s okay. See, even Jack said it’s okay.”

  Annie lost it then. Sobbing, she hung on tight to Marie. Drawing quiet strength and even approval where she’d never expected it before.

  Annie didn’t let go. She’d never let go of Jack’s blessing or his parents. Through better and worse, they’d become a family. A real family drawn closer by the gift of Jack’s son.

  * * *

  Pacing John and Marie’s plush dining room rug, Annie tried Matthew’s cell phone number and got his voice mail.

  “Matthew, it’s Annie. There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine, but I’m worried about you. Are you safe? Call me when you can.”

  Jack’s parents lived in a modest home within a subdivision perched atop a hill with great views of Lake Michigan. Staring out the dining room window, Annie watched the waves on the bay. Two freighters were now anchored there, waiting out the storm.

  Tapping the face of her phone, she called Matthew’s mom.

  “Hello?”

  “Helen, it’s Annie. Have you heard from Matthew?”

  The woman chuckled. “I just got off the phone with him. They’re heading for safe harbor. He didn’t say where but wanted me to tell you that he’ll call once they’re anchored.”

  “Oh, good. Good.” Annie pulled out a chair and sat down before her knees gave out.

  “Are you okay? I can come over and wait with you.”

  Annie smiled. It was no wonder Matthew took care of orphans and widows. He’d had a good teacher. “I’m at John and Marie’s.”

  “How’s that working out?” Helen whispered as if Marie might hear.

  The two women had met at Annie’s baby shower at the church. An awkward introduction, but at least Marie hadn’t snubbed Matthew’s mom.

  Annie let loose a nervous laugh. “Really well. In fact, they helped me see that I might have made a mistake breaking it off with your son.”

  Helen cooed. “You weren’t ready. That’s all.”

  Annie swallowed her pride and burst through those guilty stitches sewn across her heart. “I think I might be ready now.”

  “I’m glad. Welcome to the family, Annie.”

  “It’s good to have family. Yours and Jack’s.”

  “Always. Call me if you need me, honey.”

/>   Annie disconnected but didn’t move. Gazing out the window without focusing, she fretted. When would Matthew call? When would she know that he was safe?

  Her phone whistled, announcing a text.

  From Matthew.

  We’re anchoring south of Escanaba. If there’s room. I’ll call soon.

  She read the message over again. Surely he was joking about room. How rough was it out there? Rough enough to bring two freighters into Maple Bay. And that hadn’t happened in years.

  Annie closed her eyes and prayed again for the safety of the William Lee Block.

  And she prayed for Matthew. “Please, God. Bring him home to me.”

  * * *

  Matthew selected Annie’s number and waited for her to pick up.

  “Hello?” Her voice sounded low and sweet.

  He’d called yesterday after they’d anchored to wait out the wind. But their connection had been poor and they weren’t able to talk long. Weren’t really able to talk at all. So he told her not to worry, they were fine, and promised to call again in the morning, once they made port.

  That was hours ago. He had a better idea, made possible by his relief mate taking over.

  “Morning, sunshine.”

  “Matthew?”

  “Expecting someone else?”

  “This connection sounds so clear. Where are you?”

  He smiled. “What’s the weather like there?”

  She paused. “Ah, gray clouds, gloomy and cold. I think it’s going to rain.”

  “Maybe you should go outside and check.”

  “I can see from the kitchen window.”

  “Try your front porch. I think it might be sunny there.”

  He heard her laugh, deep and rich sounding. “Where are you?”

  He saw the dining room curtains pulled aside and her beautiful face break into a wide smile. Yup, pure sunshine.

  Then she opened the door.

  For a second, Matthew was stunned by the change in her, unsure what to do next. Her protruding belly announced that it wouldn’t be long before the baby came. Not long at all. Thanksgiving was a month away and she was due before that. But he’d be there if she wanted him to be.